Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Tennis Activity

So I had to be at the tennis courts today at 7:45 this morning because I was going to Harvesters to do some volunteering work as a part of out tennis team. I guess the coach want's us to get to know everyone else and not spend the season never knowing most of your team mates. I think it's smart, though I still don't know a lot of my mates on the team and it's well into the 3rd (or maybe 4th) week of tennis practices. I have known a few since the pre-season workouts over a month ago, but most of the recent additions have been during the regular season.

Harvesters was intense because we had to get raw pasta noodles and put them in these bags, making sure the bags were 3 lbs. We then sealed them and put them in boxes. We went through three 1,000 pound boxes of raw noodles and my back was killing me! I had to keep telling myself to 'man up' and stop complaining to myself, so I did. I kept quiet and did an amazing job, probably filling bags like a pro!

We finished that 3 hours later and went to get something to eat on the way back to the tennis courts. We stopped at some strange deli and my friend George insisted on us getting a pizza. He only brought $10 and my dad gave me $20. The pizza's were $13.50 for a 16'' pizza. We were kinda stupid at math at the time so we bought 2 pizzas. TALK ABOUT RUINING YOUR DIET!!!! That pizza was HUGE!!!!! I wish I brought my camcorder with me so I could prove it but your gonna have to believe me. The slices were so outrageous that I said anyone who wanted some pizza could have a slice. Only 3 people took us up on the offer but I still ate .... 5 pieces of pizza.

I feel like I picked up my goal and punched it in the face several times with each bite, grease dripping from the pizza. I regreted it as soon as I saw it, my original plan was to buy a calizone, but I opted out of  it because I wanted to get the pizzas with George. I guess I could have gotten the calizone and still paid for part of George's pizza. Oh well, Can't change the past. I was gonna weight myself in the nurses office on Friday but then forgot about spring break this week.

Expect a new blog Monday with my weight finaly being posted. I wish this pizza never happened. I'm don't know what came over me, I have always loved food. It's always been my weakness and it overpowered my brain today. My friend Kyle got a sub sandwich and ate one and a half slices of pizza, which was smart. I can't beat myself up over a decision I could have easily changed. I have to just work a little harder at workouts this week.

We are off Friday but we have practices tomorrow, I am hoping that eventually, when I reach my goal, I will no longer be that weird guy you want to ignore and finally get some respect. I feel like I would have better success at everything if I wasn't fat. Deny it all you want but there are shallow people who don't like fat people. I know a few.... I'm losing this weight for myself mostly, but also to prevent any future issues. Thanks for reading this post and expect a new post sometime Monday.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

My father doesn't care!

So my dad told me that as long as i'm living with him, I will eat what he serves or starve. But all my dad want's to eat it junk filled with fat and a load of calories! He doesn't care about me wanting sub sandwiches, though my mom understands. When my dad was gone this previous week, I was able to eat right because my mom agreed with me and was doing likewise, I think I was making progress and losing some weight, I don't know for sure though.

When my dad showed up Saturday morning, He wanted to go out and eat at a buffet, the worst place to go when your trying to diet. I couldn't sit there and eat one plate of food because my dad, we all should know him by now, would get offended and mad at me. So I drank milk and got 3 plates of food, not big plates though. I tried my best to eat right, but I hardly even saw anything healthy at the buffet! Then the following day I ate at Applebee's with my aunt and sister. I think I'm trying hard to lose weight, I just don't think I am doing enough, Maybe I am doomed to fail.

Friday night, when I had an amazing half-party, my mom made cupcakes and bought mini doughnuts. That was bad for me, not to mention she bought six 2 litters of pop, which only 2 I will drink. All these crappy foods are making me mad, really mad. There are so many foods that I enjoy, filled with crap, while there are so little foods I enjoy, filled with goodness.

I wish I knew how many calories, ect... were in the school lunches so I knew the best lunch to choose each week. Oh well, I hope to get my weight posted this week, my scale is officially dead. I will have to break down and see the school nurse (the humiliation), Oh well. I am willing to make the sacrifice, for the good of my health and the team. Haha, that was just cheezy.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tennis isn't the easiest game....

Little did I know, Tennis is harder then I would have guessed. Skipping the workouts, which are brutal to my legs, but worth it, I think there are some crazy good players on the team. There are so many techniques you can use on the court that will help you in a match. Plus the books were reading are dumb, but portray ways in which you and reflect, which my be helpful.

I think if i work out the diet portion of my tennis practices, things will work out great for me. I've been trying to get my mom to buy me sub sandwiches or something healthy, I don't really care, because workouts are great, I know that, but I want to lose 75 pounds! I need to eat healthy and workout, it has to go hand and hand with each other.

I don't want to do the workouts and then eat a fat, greasy cheeseburger for dinner with cheese, fries, and a soda. I want a sub (or something else healthy) and some water. No exceptions. You have to be strict to get results, at least I do, personally. I cave in to easily and I absolutely love food, so it's hard for me to resist a good meal, especially if it's taco's! There good, but full of nasty things my body doesn't need....

What I hate the most about it all is that I don't like lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, onions, ect... How can you lose weight if your taste buds are all jacked up? Sure, eat other things that are healthy, right? Almost everything you order is only healthy with lettuce or tomatoes! I eat onions if there cooked, i don't like raw onions .... It makes me mad to look at myself in the mirror everyday and know my waist is not getting any smaller.

I  like to think that one day, I will finally achieve my goal, but as for now, It's makes me depressed. I always look at things on the bright side. There's never a reason to be upset with your body, just yourself for making it that way. Though in my case, is it fair to blame my parents for feeding me the junk food while I was being raised and a wee little guy or is it my fault for picking up the food and putting it in my mouth? I think it's a 50/50 blame game. Though, being 17 years old now, I think its more 80/20 on me because I have the to power to get a job and buy my own food but I'm being lazy and letting them buy the food.

I can except responsibility for my actions, I just wish they would start agreeing with me and buy the food that's good for me. It would help them too. My whole family is "overweight" technically, so maybe they should consider that the next time they buy snack foods. Sure, we all make mistakes, but even if you confess that to yourself, your not going to make progress unless you tell yourself "NO!". I think I've started to do that this week and I'm gonna persevere and work harder then ever at practices this week, I'm gonna put my determined face on and tell myself over and over, "I AM NOT GOING TO LET MY BODY WIN!". I am going to take control and start making the RIGHT choices for me, end of story.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Sports Physicals

So yesterday, when I was pulled out of school early, forced to miss my favorite class, Algebra 2 (just kidding), I got a physical. Not just any physical, a sports physical (I think it was a regular physical but calling it a "sports" physical sounds a lot cooler). Lucky for me, I can relate this to the weight loss blog, because the first thing I had to do, before I actually saw the docter and got my physical, was get my height and weight checked. I slipped off my shoes and got my height, putting me at 6'2'' (which disapoints me, because I thought I was 6'3'' these past 4 or 5 months) then I got my weight checked.

My weight, according to the more accurate doctors scale, puts me at exactly 290 lbs. Thats incredible, since I thought I was 295 the past few weeks. To my suprise, the weight I seem to have never had gave me a small boost in confidence. Knowing i had 5 less pounds to lose gave me a small glistening chance that, perhaps, this journey to 215 lbs might actually happen. I only have to lose 75 pounds and I'll reach my goal. From then on, I will only have to worry about keeping that weight.

I was talking to my mom and asked her if she could buy me a sub sandwich when she gets hers until I get the weight under control and really commit to losing this weight. My mom has been trying to lose some weight also and, from what I know, she has been buying a foot long sub every 2 days and eats a 6-inch sub each night for dinner, probably (this I'm guessing) skipping lunch. Well I refuse to skip lunch. I would prefer to pack my own lunches and go that route, but when school lunches are free, why spend extra money on packing your own lunch?

Oh well, I hope you keep reading and look forward to the new posts, I'm really trying to lose this weight but It's a constant battle with myself and also a few personal things...